Many people start the new year brimming with fresh hope and good intentions. A recent YouGov survey found one in five Britons were planning to make a new year’s resolution in 2023, 41% of them aged between 18 and 24, while 37% of those surveyed in the US had similar ambitions.
However, the majority of new year’s resolutions fall by the wayside: last year, just 28% of those surveyed stuck to all of the ones they had made. Motivation can be hard when returning to school, college or work after a break, with those dark, cold mornings making us feel like staying in bed. But for many, ‘failing’ to keep unrealistic resolutions can result in negative feelings, which affects mental well-being.
“Going into a new year, many of us feel we want to change ourselves and be more positive, but so many resolutions fail. This can have an impact on motivation, identity, self-belief, confidence and self-esteem,” says Caroline Ribeiro-Nelson, psychotherapist, coach and trainer, and head of psychological health and well-being consultancy, Free Choices Diverse Mental Health.
Challenges that relate to our social and cultural identities can also have even more of an impact on our well-being at this time of year. “The new year is a pivotal, highly-focused time, when people not only reflect on the past year, but also look forward,” Ribeiro-Nelson explains.
“When we reflect, we look back not only on our positive experiences, but also on the challenges we have faced. These can include recent challenges such as the pandemic, the emerging impact of Brexit and the cost-of-living crisis, through to powerful issues such as Black Lives Matter and women’s rights.
“During Christmas, some things tend to be put on hold, which can offer us a break,” she adds. “However, it can also be a time of intense reflection on the impact of what we have been dealing with. Additionally, this is a period when we are confronted with difficult issues such as our financial situation, loneliness or family issues.
“When families come together for seasonal holidays, it can be an intense time. As we saw during the pandemic, it can trigger conflicts, domestic violence and perpetuate circumstances for sexual abuse,” Ribeiro-Nelson adds. These challenges can arise at this time of year whether people celebrate Christmas or not.
In her work, Ribeiro-Nelson focuses on connecting people’s lived experience and how detrimental factors of diversity, equity and inclusion tie into our mental health and wellbeing in an intersectional way. “It’s not only about the different social, economic, environmental and political issues that have a strong psychological impact, but we need to think about the intersectionality – that it’s not the same for everybody and one size does not fit all,” she adds.
The challenges that people reflect on at the end of the year may be issues they have faced for years, or throughout their entire lives. “A Black woman with a disability is going to face, and be psychologically impacted by, quite different challenges compared with those of a transgender person, for example,” Ribeiro-Nelson says.
She also points out that young people are really struggling at the moment and social media has a huge impact. For example, since the pandemic, 15-24 year olds across a number of countries were between 30% and 80% more likely to report symptoms of depression and anxiety than adults. Another survey found that when asked if social media use had negatively impacted their mental health, 13% of 16-24 year olds said “more often than I can remember”, 18% said “often” and 35% said “occasionally”.
“Young people take a lot more on their shoulders now, such as issues relating to targeted and manipulative technology, unstable world events and the environment. We really need to take into account the needs of everyone,” says Ribeiro-Nelson.
“These kinds of issues do not go on holiday,” she explains. “People go into the new year with these challenges and come out in the other side with the same challenges. This can have a real impact on mental health and well-being. Fear, trauma, anxiety, depression and other issues can also intensify.”
Taking care of your mental wellbeing
So how can the negative impact of not achieving desired resolutions be avoided?
“Resolutions are really about wanting to make behavioural changes that are meaningful in our lives,” Ribeiro-Nelson explains. “They need to be realistic and specific, but people often don’t make their resolutions realistic or specific enough.”
SMART goals – specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely –are crucial for success, she says. For example, a vague resolution about being better with money won’t help. Instead, setting out how you will save, how much you will save and when you plan to save it by, will be far more achievable. Goals need to be well thought out, structured, with the necessary motivation, commitment and support strategies in place. If you reflect on why you want to get fit and consider what exercise you enjoy, for example, you may decide that you really want to run a 10k race. Set out when you want to do it and, practically, how you will achieve this. Consider how your family or friends could support you – as a running partner, perhaps – and maybe build in a goals, such as raising money for charity, that can help provide extra motivation.
There are other steps you can take to look after your mental health and wellbeing at this time of year:
- Try to ensure you have a good sleep routine, healthy diet and regular exercise – and take time to relax and socialise, too. “People often don't recognise the barriers that stop them from starting healthy habits,” Ribeiro-Nelson says. “Look at the things that are holding you back and hindering those habits. Are there particular circumstances that prevent you from moving forward?” For example, are you scrolling through your phone last thing at night and first thing in the morning? Try swapping one habit for something else – reading a book last thing at night, rather than reading social media, and changing the settings on your phone to night-time mode.
- Limit your exposure to negative media and negative interactions, such as social media sites including Twitter. “We need to be very careful in choosing how we invest our time, energy and resources and engage in self care,” she says. “There’s a reason why SMART goals are such a popular strategy – they make sense. They enable people to plan in their own time and in their own way.”
- Manage your expectations. “Look at where your expectations come from,” Ribeiro-Nelson says. “Are they based on those of your parents, peers or school? Do they really fit into your own expectations of what you want from your life? It’s really important that young people, especially, feel able to make their own choices.”
- Take time to think about what you want to achieve, while understanding that your mental health and well-being exists within the context of your identity and societal systems. Says Ribeiro-Nelson: “It’s crucial that people are aware of this. They should develop interventions, strategies and awareness to cope adequately.” For example, keeping a journal or a gratitude diary to delve deeper into what motivates you and what you want to achieve. “All these factors can help people develop good mental health and well-being,” she concludes.
Top tips
- Reflect on what you want to achieve, why you want to achieve it and what has stopped you from achieving it already.
- Make any goals for the year SMART – specific targets that you can achieve realistically within a time period, and measure.
- Practice self care – limit time on social media, eat and sleep well, exercise and socialise.
- Don’t chastise yourself for not achieving goals. Reflect on why you haven’t and what you can change.
The mental health charities Mind and the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) have a range of free resources to help you support your mental wellbeing.