With the economy in the doldrums and many businesses having to prepare for uncertainties – even growing companies are being cautious right now – budget time is a tough time for finance teams. You’re probably looking to set stretching targets for frustrated salespeople and rein in costs already pared back heavily. It’s a recipe for conflict. And when it comes to negotiating with senior colleagues and their teams, there’s a good chance you’re going to have a tough job. If one side doesn’t know how to be assertive in the right way, or is too passive, bad decisions will be taken.

We looked at using assertiveness to achieve better outcomes at work in 'Finance & Management' last June. Lack of assertiveness is demonstrated by passive behaviour, which puts the needs of other people (“you”) above one’s own (“I”). That attitude is symbolised by an “I negative, you positive” outlook. Or else, surprisingly, it manifests itself in the adoption of aggressive behaviour – putting one’s own needs above those of everyone else in an “I positive, you negative” stance.

The key? Developing sensitivity to each situation you find yourself in and understanding both your own and the other party’s stance. If you’re clear on your goals and know how people might deflect you from them, you’re calm, logical – and above all positive – then you’re more likely to be successful (see box, Personal drive, overleaf ). But I want to provide a more detailed analysis of how assertiveness can be effective in managing three particularly important workplace challenges:

• defusing the arch manipulator;
• making peace;
• taking a stand

And the annual budget round is a great place to do all three.

Imagine that you, as FD, have successfully said no to a department head – let’s call him Archie Manipulator – who wants additional funding without producing a viable or detailed business plan. What if Archie tries to undermine you? If you lose control of the situation, you might end up fighting so many fires that you allow the funding request to go through just to make life easier. Archie has many tricks – there are at least 38 documented in my book – but two of the most common are to:

• create chaos where none existed before;
• press the right buttons to make you act emotionally and fall out with people.

Having switched the spotlight to others, the successful manipulator can carve a pathway to their goal.

The best way to foil Archie is first to recognise what is happening, then refuse to “feed” the behaviour. Manipulators are skilled at causing a reaction, so when they push your buttons to make you angry or defensive, focus on calming down and use one of the assertiveness tools listed below. For example:

AM: “You’re losing your grip if you think we’ll just jump when you say so.”

FD: “I would have liked to have given you more time, but I do need to have a business case.” (Negative assertion; broken record)

AM: “I’m sick of talking to the monkey when the organ grinder [CEO] agrees with me.”

FD: “I understand the situation might be difficult for you. What is it about the request that is causing you problems?” (Fogging; negative enquiry)

AM: “You’ve not heard the last of this. I can destroy your career you know.”

FD: “I’m sure you’ll do whatever you think appropriate.” (Fogging)

By managing to stay in control, you will start to defuse the manipulations. And then you can start to help others to disconnect from their impact too. Typically, when the arch manipulator fails to get the expected reaction they move on to create dramas elsewhere.

Assertiveness is also about understanding the other person’s point of view. Take the example of someone aggrieved by a recent cut in their budget – who is in fact fed up with all the budget cuts their service has suffered over the past few years. Let’s call her Agatha Roe. She’s become hostile and trust between the two of you has disintegrated. When you approach her to discuss financial matters, she refuses to take your call. To make peace you need dialogue and that’s a four-step process.

• Identify her readiness to begin talking.
• Create a framework for discussions.
• Develop an environment of trust.
• Wait for a breakthrough.

An open, honest and transparent process to discuss the budget allocations is one thing, but you also need to re-engage with Agatha on a personal level. Here’s how.

• Build rapport. “I have some ideas for making the budget process more transparent, can I come and have a chat with you about them?”
• Allow her to express her concerns.
• Don’t judge her behaviour – her style may just be very different from yours.
• Don’t rush her.

Take time to rebuild the relationship, and when Agatha decides you’re someone to do business with, there will be rapid progress towards shared objectives.

As an FD, people are constantly pushing you to agree financial arrangements beneficial to them. What do you do when the person pushing those boundaries is a heavyweight colleague – such as the CEO? Let’s call her Yonda Limits.

In this scenario, CEO Yonda wants to allocate more money to the marketing budget than looks sensible. You know she wants to raise the organisation’s profile. But you also know that the overextension might risk the business and will deliver few benefits. Yet she is going to put sustained pressure on you. Again, the assertiveness techniques of broken record, fogging, negative assertion, and negative enquiry are the key skills.

And, if you really believe that the action is not in the best interests of the organisation, it will help to be sure of your principles and motivations when you take a stand. Here are some strategies that will help focus your mind to make the right decision for you and the business.

• Consider your values. Identify which ones are being challenged.
• Use your values as your moral compass in decision making.
• Ask yourself “What do I really stand for?

Simply articulating these fundamentals will help you to stand your ground. A typical response to Yonda’s pressure might be the broken record of “I have worked the numbers and the business cannot support your request this budgeting cycle.” And because you stand for “a viable future for the business”, that’s not going to change.

The four stages of assertiveness are: being clear about what you want to achieve; stating your aim clearly and without emotion; avoiding deflection using assertiveness techniques; and coping with your own emotional reactions to being successful. (In short: don’t feel guilty when you get what you want.)

So just what are those assertiveness techniques?

1. Broken record. Stay on track by simply restating your aim whenever you are making a request, saying “no” to someone or being challenged.
2. Fogging. Allow what the other person says to just hang – or find some limited truth to agree with.
3. Negative assertion. Agree with valid criticisms of your behaviour – any that are true, anyway – without deviating from your core demands.
4. Negative enquiry. Ask the other side to be more specific about what aspects of your behaviour or position bother them. This reveals if their behaviour is manipulative or whether they simply need to become more skilled at giving constructive feedback.

Five tips for better personal skills

1. Adopt the ‘I positive, you positive’ stance in your interactions.
2. Decide what different outcomes you want to achieve.
3. Anticipate how people may try to deflect you from your purpose.
4. Practise using the techniques of broken record, fogging, negative assertion and negative enquiry.
5. Appreciate that assertiveness is not about winning so sometimes you might lose an argument or not have your needs met.

• Stand your ground
  Finance & Management Magazine, November 2012, p.20-22

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